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Maria Owens has three children and bakes
cakes on order. She admits she never makes
any time just for herself and cannot even
remember the last time she went for a
manicure and pedicure. She tells, “I drive
my kids to school and pick them up as well.
In between I do cake baking and purchase
supplies. My husband also expects me to
throw three to four lavish dinner parties for
his colleagues a month. By the end of the
day, I am so tired that I don’t even have five
minutes to read a book!”
By Nature
Many women are in the same boat as
Maria; when they do manage a moment
of time for themselves, be it a work-out,
a salon visit or even just spending a few
Tips to Make More Time for
Yourself:
Believe you are worth giving time to
If we believe we deserve it then we’ll give it to
ourselves. If we are not, then we don’t believe we
are worth it.
Start today, not tomorrow, next week, next
month when things will slow down. Things
never slow down. We have to slow them down.
Be a role model for your children – it’s good to
have me time
Set a goal, look at your schedule, make a plan,
get a friend on board, support from family and
go for it.
Change can be hard and we may want to
sacrifice me time because we just can’t cope with
the guilt. Relax. The guilt won’t last. People will
stop getting grumpy at your no’s and you will
feel fantastic.
Areas Where Women
Need To Make More Time:
Women should take time to take care of their bodies – feed them healthy
foods, exercise regularly and go for a massage as we need our bodies to be
in good condition since we demand so much from them.
We also need to take time to nurture our mental, emotional and spiritual
beings.
Women need to connect with other people – take time to have a laugh
and some fun; but also if you are having a hard time, share your load
with a supportive friend or get some counseling or life coaching.
Have pampering sessions – shopping, trips to the salon to get your nails
done, hair cut. If we feel good about ourselves, we’ll smile more and the
stress will be reduced.
Take time for self-development. Life can be so boring and mundane
if we are just treading water day in, day out. Forgotten hobbies; new
hobbies, read that book you’ve been meaning to. Knitting and even
ironing done in the right mood can be very calming.
Leave the phone, computer alone – do a detox for at least an hour a day.
Just switch off.
some quick fixes which in time may turn
into habits or addictions such as drinking
to unwind, overeating or smoking.
Red
Flags
According to Laws, many of us have fallen
into “martyr/victim” thinking and the only
person who can get us out of it is us. “If
we don’t, eventually our bodies will get fed
up of us, ignoring all those little thoughts
that we ought to take care of ourselves
better, eat better, rest more and eat less or
more healthily,” she says. “We may suffer
more from colds and flu, back problems,
neck problems, insomnia, anxiety, bowel
and digestive problems.” And this, she
says, could escalate into an ulcer, serious
heart problems, diabetes and if all that
fails, a nervous breakdown, which is really
just the body calling an all out system
shutdown.
Advice
Change needs to be gradual, explains
Laws, otherwise we are in danger of
quitting quickly. “It takes time for the brain
and body to adapt, so make it gradual and
make it committed,” she says, it’s better to
start slowly and do it than to do everything
for a week and abandon it. “Start with
breathing exercises and if you can afford
to, get some help – it’s worth giving up the
expensive holiday/new dress/car upgrade,”
she says as our lives are what counts now.
“It’s all about believing you are worth
spending time on and deserving of being
cared for,” she says and when all is said and
done, no one else is responsible for our
well being but us.
H
precious moments with a dear friend, they
feel guilty. Lisa Laws at Lisa Laws Coaching
reinforces that with a job, children, family,
friends, and husband –many women have
a hard time saying no, often postponing or
giving up on their lives completely in order
to ‘be there’ for the people in their lives that
need them. “Yet over time, women who
don’t take time out for themselves, may find
themselves not looking forward to anything,
it’s just about ticking off everything on the list
and falling exhausted into bed,” she says. “The
passion and excitement of living gives way to
a ‘hamster-wheel’ type existence – running at
a million miles an hour and not really getting
anywhere.” And sometimes, women who don’t
take time out for themselves may compensate
for their lack of balance and self nurture with
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