Use these 3 Keys to Start Forgiving Today
We hear a lot about forgiving and forgetting these days. But according to researchers, there are certain keys to a successful apology that we should all be aware of.
There are three keys to a successful apology: firstly, regretting your actions. Next, taking responsibility for them and lastly, be willing to remedy the situation. For instance, you skip your best friend’s birthday dinner for last minute plans. In cases like these, Dr. Bernard Weiner, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles, says a full blown apology is warranted. Start by apologizing, and then give indications to corrected, future behavior. And next, offer some form of compensation. In a case where both of you are to blame, it is still up to one person to initiate an apology. You could initiate the conversation by saying “I feel we owe each other an apology and I’m going to start.” Always remember, you must also approach the situation without resentment, truly accept your part in it and be ready to forgive the other person.
Other Tips to Help You Work on Forgiving
- Try writing a daily forgiveness reminder in your journal as a way to help gain control over your emotional life.
- Give yourself time to forgive. Because you are trying to change your emotional habits, it may take time since these took years to develop.
- Create a daily affirmations board where you post positive messages, images of positivity and be sure to spend a few moments looking an absorbing these positive energies.
- Pen your thoughts on paper to the person who hurt you. Communicate exactly what hurt you and then throw it away. Not only will you feel better immediately, the message will not be hurting anyone in the process.