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Your style
While I do not believe in ‘labels’ I
also do not believe that I am always
right just because I am a parent.
We have all made mistakes, to err
is human, so how can I, in good
faith, think that my son will not be
making any of those mistakes? In
that scenario, I would rather he tell
me than I find out after the damage
is irreversible! I am not saying I
am his friend, I am his parent, but
one he is not afraid to share his
mistakes and fears with, including
and not limited to the moments he
dislikes me too! It is fine if he hates
me momentarily, it is not fine if he
festers the resentment.
Does it work?
It works for me. My son has high
anxiety levels, often gets stressed,
and closes himself up when under
pressure! The last thing I would
want is to add on to his stress by
pushing my expectations on him.
He is his own person, he will have
to figure himself out first, set his
own expectations for himself
without feeling ‘responsible’ for
what is expected of him instead!
Drawing the line
He has to deal with the fallout
of his actions. If he has gone
a step too far, I point it out. If
he is wrong, I tell him. He gets
his ‘time out’ as well, he is too
old for the naughty chair, but
no screen time, reduced play
hours and the more fun perks
during the weekends are taken
off for the more minor ‘offences’.
I have zero tolerance policy to
abusive and rude behavior; there
is no excuse for bullying. None.
Though I am proud to say that
my son is quite the opposite, he
stands up for the underdog!
THE TIGER
MOTHER
Dimple Ramchandani is the
Regional Sales and Marketing
Coordinator at Oakwood Asia
Pacific and has two kids; 14-year-old
Kevin and 9-year-old Alisha and
describes herself as a loving, but
strict mother whose world revolves
around the kids.
Your style
I would rather say I was much more
of a tiger mom than I am now. I am
trying to change myself as I have come
to realize that I need to enjoy being
a mother as well as my kids to enjoy
being my kids. I was more into school
work and practice papers preparing
for the exams or tests. But now I
spend my evenings after work playing
games and watching TV with the kids.
We also sit and do some painting or
any form of artwork that my kids
enjoy.
Does it work?
It used to work. But now it doesn’t.
My son is growing to be a teenager
and rebellious. I have realized my
old model no longer works. I have to
change myself and my style so can
get him to see the logic and reasons
behind every decision. I have to put
myself in his shoes before telling
him anything. When my kids see me
letting go, they, in fact, listen and
obey.
Drawing the Line
I don’t really have a set method to
draw the line. It all depends on how
bad the situation is. It does get tiring
to be angry all the time. When I do, it
comes with a barrage of guilt that can
last for few days.
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Nov/Dec 2016