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Feelings

After the birth of a baby, men often experience

many emotions, ranging from sheer delight to high

levels of stress and anxiety-- many fathers also feel

neglected, especially if they are not involved in

the daily caretaking of the new baby. Feelings of

‘jealousy’ often arise when a father does not feel

connected to the baby. “This can come about as a

result of the amount of time a wife/mother has to

dedicate to the new baby, especially if she is breast

feeding,” Dr. Hamden says.

Impact on the Marriage

Intimacy, says Dr. Hamden, is undoubtedly

affected, just after childbirth. First, physiological

consequences of birth can make it difficult for

the mother to feel intimate, especially if she had

complications, or a Caesarean section. Also, she

is exhausted, and then both parents soon become

exhausted trying to work out patterns of late night

feedings. “Recognize the issue and substituting

other activities that creates intimacy, like cuddling

or relaxing together before bed, in those precious

moments when the baby is sound asleep. Also keep

communication open during this time to avoid any

misunderstandings that have more room to take

place when intimacy is affected,” recommends Dr.

Hamden. Make it a priority to take advantage of

any time alone together and to enjoy each other’s

company.

A Couple

New parents are often surprised at how much

transition their marriage goes through just

during pregnancy alone- some men feel

marginalized since their child was conceived

and as a result, despite their happiness and

desire to be a part of the pregnancy process,

they begin to distance themselves-not viewing

themselves as useful. ”Dr. Raymond H. Hamden,

Clinical and Forensic Psychologist at Human

Relations Institute and Clinics tells “Prior to the

birth of a baby, especially if it’s the first baby,

a couple usually has more time to focus on

themselves as individuals, and as a dyad,

Get Dad Involved

From Day One

• Delegate tasks; help by changing

diapers, feeding formula, and

dressing the baby.

• If your wife nurses, ask her to

consider pumping breast milk into a

bottle for you to feed the baby each

day.

• Most importantly, relax and have

fun! Your baby will grow up quickly,

and you’ll want to enjoy every

minute of it.

• Be prepared for change - many

couples feel nothing will change

and set up unrealistic expectations

that things will continue in the

same fashion as they did earlier. This

is not the case, and it is important

for couples to discuss the changes

they anticipate, and agree to some

‘change management’ rules.

Mar/Apr 2015