Tips for Understanding Non-verbal Communication

While actively listening to a person, you nod your head to indicate that you understand and are in agreement with the speaker. You look away or yawn to indicate that you are bored or would prefer if the speaker stops talking. When we are attentive to another’s body language, we can gain insight into how the person is feeling.

Eye Contact – Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of dealing with others. Maintaining good eye contact shows respect and interest in what speaker is saying. We tend to keep eye contact around 60 to 70 percent of the time, however, there are wide cultural differences. By doing this you won’t make the other people feel self-conscious.

Head – When you want to feel confident and self-assured, keep your head level straight both horizontally and vertically. Conversely, when you want to be friendly and in a listening, receptive mode, tilt your head just a little to one side or other. You can shift the tilt from left to right at different points in the conversation.

Arms – Arms give away the clues as to how open and receptive we are to everyone we meet and interact with, so keep your arms out to the side of your body or behind your back. This shows you are not scared to take on whatever comes your way. In general terms, the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms with big movements. The quieter you are the less you move your arms away from your body.

Hand Gestures – Hand gestures are so numerous so this is just a very brief guide. Palms slightly up and outward is seen as open and friendly. Palm down gestures are generally seen as dominant and possibly aggressive, especially when there is no movement or bending between the wrist and the forearm. This palm up, palm down is very important when it comes to handshaking and, where appropriate, we suggest you always offer a handshake upright and vertical, which should convey equality.

Posture – A slumped posture indicates that you have low spirits, are fatigued or that you feel inferior. Whereas, an erect straightened posture shows high spirits and confidence. If you lean forward it implies that you are open and interested. Leaning away shows disinterest or that you are defensive.

Improving your skill in interpreting non-verbal communication will add to your ability to share meaning with and understand another person better.

(Credit: Resha Erheim is a counsellor at LifeWorks Holistic Counselling Centre. She is a Canadian Certified Counsellor and a member of the Canadian Counsellor and Psychotherapy Association. She is also licensed as a Social Counsellor from Community Development Authority in Dubai.)